Things That Only Happen To Old People

This morning my wife had a doctor’s appointment downtown. I set my alarm with the intention of leaving an hour before the appointment. When I got up, I checked Google Maps on my phone, and it said it would take an hour and a half to get to the doctor. Figuring traffic was unusually bad, we left an additional half hour early.

We noticed pretty quickly that traffic wasn’t particularly bad. For every ten minutes we drove, we got twenty minutes closer according to the app. When we were about halfway there, the app started having us turn onto back roads. Some of these weren’t even roads, but more like alleys and parking lots. The app showed our route as a stairstep pattern, going from alley to alley to get to our destination. At one point it had us go through a road with a “No Access” sign.

Eventually we realized that this couldn’t possibly be right, so we stopped so I could figure out the problem. It turned out the app was set to “bicycle” instead of “car.” I don’t know how that happened, I’ve never used the bicycle setting, I don’t even own a bike. My finger must have brushed it or something.

Anyway, long story short, we got to the doctor 45 minutes early.

Dreams: Robocop 4

I dreamed they had just released Robocop 4 in the theaters. (Is there already a Robocop 4? I have no idea.) R4 had a different tone than the rest of the series. His partner this time was played by Sarah Michelle Gellar (my wife and I are currently rewatching Buffy), and it had a comedic "buddy cop" feel like the Lethal Weapon movies.

However, Dan O'Herlihy, who played the CEO in the original Robocop, was angry that he hadn't been cast in R4. (Note, in real life, this actor died in 2005.) O'Herlihy started killing off the rest of the cast.

I was Gellar in the dream, though I was probably closer to Buffy, and I was investigating the murders. I explored a movie theater where Robocop 4 was playing. The theater complex had a river running through it, and customers had to take gondolas to reach the different theaters. 

O'Herlihy, which is difficult to type, fled the scene of the crime in a gondola. He had the rest of the board members from Robocop in a gondola with him. I tried to follow by walking in the waist-deep water, but then he poured something in the water that made it acidic. So I had to climb up to a short ledge that lined the flooded hallways.

I still managed to keep up for a while, but there were gaps in the ledge which slowed me down. Then one of the board members (played by Ralph Bellamy in the dream, though he wasn't in Robocop IRL) betrayed O'Herlihy and somehow helped me get a boat of my own. The details get a little blurry at that point, but Bellamy and I did manage to capture O'Herlihy and bring him to justice.

Now Available: Geek Cutes

My latest book is now available on Amazon and Other E-Retailers. Only 99 cents!

Geek Cutes is a collection of eight light-hearted short stories, spanning a variety of genres, with a focus on lesbians (both cis and trans).

Stories included in this anthology:

Dungeon Therapy: Two women meet over an online tabletop RPG.

Gilded Cage: A young tech expert is locked in her room by her homophobic parents.

Mother's Day: A cop teams up with an occult expert to track down an otherworldly monster.

Fairy Dust: In a war between fairies and dragons, one pixie must embrace her destiny.

Hero Worship: A woman goes on a blind date with a superhero, but is it safer to stay single?

Think Tank: A team of scholars struggle to break a divine code, racing against the most serious of all deadlines.

Strangers in the Void: When the power goes out on a space station, two strangers work together to find the cause.

Vigilante: In a neighborhood riddled with violent crime, a masked hero protects women from the local gangs.

Republican Boogeymen

Have politics always been this dumb?

When Obama was elected, I thought the nation had come really far, and we were headed into a new era of enlightenment and acceptance. And then Trump came along, and undid four years of progress within his first couple of months. And I’m not even talking about specific policies he put into place (though I could), but rather the “If I don’t want to believe it, it’s fake news” mindset he put out into the universe.

We have one side that believes in science, and research, and observable facts and data. Then we have another side who just says, “They’re the enemy, so whatever they say, do the opposite.” It is amazing how predictable they are. Just this morning, a notable Republican spoke out against NYC citizens wearing masks as protection from wildfire smoke, simply because the Democrats suggested it.

And I have to wonder, has it always been this bad, or do I just pay more attention to politics than I used to? To put it bluntly, it’s hard for me to believe that Republicans were this stupid my entire life. I just don’t believe the party would have survived if, say, Ronald Reagan had told people not to wear condoms during the AIDS pandemic. Or if Bush (either one) had told schools, “Stop teaching about World War II, it makes Nazis feel bad.”

There’s always been boogeymen, I know that much. Mountains are made out of molehills, to distract voters from the actual, important issues. Right now, Republicans would have you believe that all of the world’s ills stem from drag queens and trans children. They’ve blown the issues extremely out of proportion, because with all the bad press the party has received lately, it’s one of the few issues they can count on to get votes. The bigot demographic is very important to the Republican party.

If you’re a Republican and you’ve read this far, let me clear a few things up for you. You’re not going to believe me, and you’re going to claim I’m “brainwashed by the Liberal media” or whatever, but I’m going to say it anyway. I have a close relationship with the groups in question, so my first-hand knowledge isn’t filtered through the bias of the news programs.

1. Drag is an umbrella term. Saying, “all drag shows are adult” is like saying “all video games are about Mario.” Stop accusing events like “Drag Story Time Hour” of being adult content.

2. Unless, of course, you think “man in woman’s clothing” automatically makes something adult, in which case, you’re a fucking idiot. Do you honestly think Mrs. Doubtfire should have an X rating? Or MASH? Some Like It Hot? Bosom Buddies? Bugs frikken' Bunny? If you can’t see a man in a dress without thinking impure thoughts, that’s your fetish, but don't assume everyone else shares your kink.

3. There is no sudden surge of trans kids. There was a time when kids weren’t allowed to be left handed. Parents and teachers taught all kids to use their right hands, because they didn’t know better. Once they realized that it was healthier for kids to write with their dominant hand, left-handedness went on the rise. If you look at the graph, it looks like people just suddenly started being left-handed starting at a certain year. But, obviously, left-handedness didn’t start then, that’s just when it started being accepted. Same with trans kids. They’ve always been here, but now we’re better at identifying it and understanding it. Well, some of us, anyway.

4. No one is “transing” their kids. I can’t believe that I even have to say that, but apparently you really are that stupid. No one wants their kids to be trans. Nobody is saying, “I wanted a girl instead of a boy. That’s okay, I’ll make my boy a girl.” This is real life, not Sleepaway Camp. These kids were already trans, whether you want to believe it or not. We don’t want to make kids trans, we just want the kids who are trans to live safe, happy lives.

5. Yes, kids know they’re trans from a pretty early age. Stop acting like you suddenly gained all the knowledge of the universe the day you turned eighteen. Admit it, you knew early on that you liked your gender. When I was in third grade, every boy I knew bragged about how boys were better than girls. I knew guys who were against the existence of female GI Joe characters. One guy refused to play as Lizzie in the video game “Rampage,” because the monster was really a woman. Another friend told me he’d kill himself if his penis ever got cut ever off. But what if you’d had all those same feelings, but for the opposite sex? Because some kids do.

6. No one is rushing their little boy to the gender therapist just because he tried on mommy’s bra that one time. I see this so often from transphobes. “So what if he wants to be a girl? When I was his age, I wanted to be a fire engine.” I’m sure you did. For like, a day. But your child’s passion for painting sure lasted a long time, didn’t it? So much so that they grew up to be a professional artist. Attentive parents will recognize the difference between passing whims and core aspects of their child’s personality.

7. No one is performing genital surgery on kids. If you watch Fox News (and shame on you), they’d have you believe it’s being done on a daily basis, but even adults have to jump through 1,000 hoops to get gender affirmation surgery. The only thing they’re doing to trans kids is putting them on puberty blockers, which postpone puberty until the child is old enough to make an adult decision. Puberty blockers have been in use for decades (and not just for trans issues), and they’ve been proven to be safe.

Okay, a quick side note – when I say “no one” is doing something, I’m not saying it’s never happened in the history of the planet. There’s 8 billion people in the world. If something is possible, it’s probably happened at some point or another. But none of this is happening on a regular basis in America. Don’t dig up an article about some nutjob who performed amateur surgery on their kid, and present it like it’s proof of a widespread epidemic. The only genital mutilation that regularly happens to kids in America is circumcision.

And yes, I know, there were a couple of cases in the news where 16-year-old trans boys had mastectomies. But those were rare events, there’s more to those stories than the headlines, and you’re moving the goalposts. A handful of teenagers getting breast surgery isn’t proof of “widespread underage genital mutilation.” You do know the difference between breasts and genitals, right? And I’d be hesitant to call 16-year-olds “children” in this case. I’m not saying 16 is old enough to transition, but it’s disingenuous to lump them in with eight year olds when making your case.

8. We Liberals actually do agree with you. We don’t want people performing genital surgery on children either. We don’t want parents brainwashing cis children into thinking they’re trans. We don’t want kids attending shows with explicit content. But none of that is actually happening. Your crusade against “the enemy” keeps you from acknowledging the world that’s right in front of you.

Please, please, please start showing a bit of critical thinking skills. Your beliefs aren’t just harmful, they’re illogical. And you know it. Some part of you has to see that A+B isn’t adding up to C. If those “drag queen story time” events involved nudity, you’d have actually heard of a specific instance by now. If boys were fully transitiong into girls, you’d be able to name at least one by name. It would be such a scandal, it would be on every news program. You’ve known who Christine Jorgenson was since you were a kid, but can you name one trans child? Your “news” programs make nebulous claims, telling you these things happen all the time without ever revealing specific cases.

Because they’re lying.

Do better.

Kitty Communication

For the last two days, our largest cat, Wicket, has been meowing almost non-stop. Not just normal meows, but low, deep wails that sound like all is lost. The food bowl was full. I looked him over, and didn’t see any injuries, he didn’t act like he was tender anywhere I touched him. We considered making a vet appointment, but what would we tell them? That he meows a lot? We’ve had cats that did that anyway. For all we knew, he was just going through a phase. I was still thinking about calling the vet when I figured it out.

The cats have two water sources, one in the kitchen, and one in the upstairs hallway. About a year ago we replaced the downstairs bowl with an electric fountain-style bowl. Then, a couple of days ago, we replaced the upstairs one with a similar device. Apparently, Wicket is afraid of them. He didn’t complain when we replaced the one in the kitchen, because he still had the one upstairs.

Anyway, this morning, Wicket meowed at me the entire time I was in the shower. When I got out, he stood in the hallway, next to the newer fountain bowl, gesturing at the bowl with his nose. This cat would be good at charades. On a hunch, I pulled the old water bowl out and filled it. He lapped up water for the next fifteen minutes. I’m pretty sure the poor idiot had gone two days without drinking any water. He hasn’t complained since.

Just something to keep in mind I guess, if you use fountain bowls.

The cats are pretty good at body language, though. Kara sleeps on my bed every night. In fact, she has different favorite spots that are dependent on which of my usual sleeping positions I’m currently in. If I’m on one side she might curl up behind my knees, in another position she sleeps under my elbow, and so on. Sometimes I have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Kara accompanies me, almost as if she’s making sure I don’t get lost. Once I get back to bed, she curls up and falls asleep with me again.

One night I got up, but Kara was too just comfortable to follow. So she delegated the task to Wicket, who was at the foot of the bed. In the dim light of my alarm clock I saw her look at Wicket, then make a “you’re up” gesture with her chin. On her command, Wicket got up and escorted me to the bathroom and back. It’s the one and only time he’s done that, and I’m 100% positive he did it under Kara’s orders.

Dream: McDonaldism

I dreamed that, in order to prevent the spread of anti-capitalism, McDonald's started sending philosophers to college campuses. They indoctrinated students into something called "McDonaldism." You could tell the converts because they wore bright red and yellow outfits.

An Open Letter To Everyone Who Sends Me Videos

I Hate Videos. 

I mean it, I hate them. When it comes to news, I can read an article a lot faster than I can sit through a video. I hate it when I see a headline online, I click it, and it takes me to a video. Seriously, news outlets: Just write a paragraph or two so I can read what happened, don’t make me turn my sound on and sit through a 10-minute video.

I don't like them, so I don’t watch them. If an article is video-only, I google the headline, and find some other site with the information I need. But that doesn’t stop the “means well” friends from sending me "funny" videos.

My friends have good taste in humor, they really do. If wanted to watch any videos, it would be the ones they send me. But I still growl every time my phone vibrates, because I don’t know whether it’s going to be a funny picture (yay) or an accursed video (ugh).

Reasons I hate videos:

I have to make time to watch them. I like to spend my free time with my wife, or working on my various projects. I have to allocate my time like it was gasoline, and the last thing I want is to have to make a surprise drive to Zimbabwe.

I don’t have a good data plan on my phone, so if I get a video, I have to wait until I get home to watch it. Once I get home, I usually watch TV with my wife, so I have to wait until she leaves the room if I want to watch a video with sound. I know I make her sound like a sleeping ogre, but it’s more like I want to spend that time with her instead of watching separate videos on my laptop. So as much as I hate videos, I hate videos that require the sound on even more.

But what I hate most is Facebook's Reels. Facebook is really inconsistent about how Reels work. Sometimes they won't give me an interface, so I can't see how long the video is, nor do I have the ability to pause it. I thought it was just a matter using my phone vs my laptop, but these options actually seem to vary from Reel to Reel. Some work like videos, others are like really long animated GIFs.

So not only do I have to allot time to watch a Reel, I can't even see how long the video is going to be when it starts. And if I blink and miss something, I can't rewind, I just have to restart the video or wait for it to repeat itself.

You can probably extrapolate the following based on the above, but if you really want me to hate you, send me a Reel that requires the sound on to be funny. Doing so tells me that you don't respect my time or my feelings. At the very least, look up the video on YouTube and send me that link instead.

So the bottom line is, don’t send me videos. If you do send one, make sure it's so pants-crappingly funny that I'll regret not seeing it. The video loses funny points if it requires sound, or if it's a Reel. If you honestly think the video is still funny after losing all those funny points, go ahead and pass it along, I guess. But don't expect me to watch it for several hours, or maybe even not until the weekend.

Look, I appreciate you trying to brighten my day, I really do. But the amount of trouble I have to go through to watch your videos really makes them less funny.

Blood Samples

I've just published my fourth "book," though this one is just a collection of six short stories. It's called Blood Samples, and it's a prequel to my other books. It's also free on most e-retailers (99 cents on Amazon). You can get it here: Amazon  Other Stores

If you like it, please check out my other books here:

Xine Fury's Books

And if you haven't already, make sure you check out my writing blog:

Bloodhunters Blog

This Increasingly Fascist Country

 I opened reddit this morning and saw someone had asked this question:

Background: I’m a stealth, fully passing transgender woman (40) whose documents are completely updated for a few years now. I have two sons who really want to go to Disney World and this year I promised them we’d go together. But with all that is happening in FL, I am terrified.

If someone found out that I’m trans could Florida take my kids away even if I am a resident of Washington State?

Can I use the women’s bathroom if I am post-op and all my documents say female?

I’m very worried that something really awful could happen, but I also don’t want to break my kid’s heart about the trip. What should I do?

Now, to be fair, she probably doesn't have much to worry about. This is the totally normal paranoia all mothers have for their children. Nobody is doing genital checks at the door, and if she's fully passing as she says, nobody is going to look twice at her.

But the part that totally pisses me off is that, thanks to the rise of Conservative fascism, someone feels the need to ask the question at all. We're giving up more and more freedoms every day, and many of us feel unsafe in our own country.

And why? Conservatives constantly tout how America is the best country in the world, and how we're the "Land of the Free" and so on. They look down on every other country, especially the ones with totalitarian governments. So why do they keep looking to those countries as guide for how to rule America?

If you think I'm being melodramatic, you're probably a straight cis white male. You're probably thinking, "Well, I haven't noticed any restricted freedoms." To which I have to ask, are you just totally incapable of stepping into someone else's shoes, even for a second?

As I write this, there are 471 anti-LGBTQ bills currently under consideration in the US. And let's not forget all the abortion restrictions going on. Americans look down on countries that allow religion to control their laws... "unless it's our religion." You might feel safe, because you're on "the winning team." But that attitude will backfire. If you keep letting religion to get its hooks into our laws that way, it's going to be impossible to get it back out. And sooner or later, you'll be a target too.

Do you drink? Some Christians are against it. Got a girlfriend? Some Christians look down on premarital sex. Do you look at porn? Don't get used to it. These are Christian values, folks. And if the right set of justices get on the Supreme Court, they'll look into outlawing all of it. And you won't be able to blame anyone but yourself, since you'll be the sap who voted them in.

That's why you should make the clean break now. Support the separation of church and state. Abolish laws based on religion. Just because you disagree with something, doesn't mean it should be outlawed. If something you hate is outlawed for religious reasons, don't consider that a win. At best, consider it a close call. It could have been one of your rights they axed.

My Third Book is Out

I've just published the third book in my Bloodhunters series. If anyone who played on my old Itropa server is reading this, there's a version of Itropa in this book. Also, if you were a member of my Cat Club when we were kids, a version of the team appears in this book as well. Let me know what you think!

Where to buy:

Book 1: Kindle  Other E-Retailers

Book 2: Kindle  Other E-Retailers

Book 3: Kindle  Other E-Retailers

Books2Read Author Page

Bloodhunters Blog

Trailers (YouTube)

Dirty Laundry

I was so happy three months ago. Okay, so things haven’t been going so well financially. My wife stopped working right around when COVID started, and she hasn’t been healthy enough to work since. We still did okay for a while. Her unemployment paid the groceries until it ran out. The government bonus checks we got during the pandemic also helped us for a few more months. We refinanced our house last year, and used the extra money to pay off a bunch of old debts. For the first time in years, I wasn’t paying a third of my paycheck to revolving debts.

But the fact is, without my wife’s income, I make slightly less than what we need to get through the month. We live windfall to windfall, scraping by for months at a time until I get a handout – my annual Christmas bonus, tax refund, and so on. Our bills are actually pretty low, all things considered. Our mortgage payment is probably half what most people are paying in this area.

So yeah, it sucks, but we get by. I’m lucky, I have some really cheap ways to entertain myself. I love writing, which is about as cheap a hobby as you can get. So far I’ve published two books, and I’ve got a third in the proofreading stage, and I’m a few chapters into a fourth. Being creative makes me happy. Even the non-writing parts of writing, like maintaining social media sites or putting together marketing videos, put me into a creative high.

Or it did. A couple of weeks ago, I got a negative review on my first book. They gave 3 out of 5 stars, which is okay, but the reviewer's comments hit me pretty hard. Yeah, I know, writing is putting myself out there, which is always a risk. Creativity isn’t a business for the thin-skinned, and I promised myself early on that I was only publishing the books for fun, not for profit. But still.

The reviewer had two main complaints. The first wasn’t so bad. The “novel” is really more of a novella/anthology hybrid, and the overarching plot isn’t resolved in the first book. I think of it like a TV series. The first half of book 1 is like the double-length season premiere. The second half is like a bunch of episodes. Then, if you buy book two, the first half is several additional episodes, until finally the overarching plot is resolved at the end of the second season.

I knew it wasn’t the ideal way to compile the story. Originally it was going to be one extra-long book, but a lot of writing websites recommended keeping your first novel under 100,000 words, so I split it across two books. I also considered releasing it as four short novellas, but that would have caused more problems, such as commissioning more covers. Anyway, it is what it is, and regardless of where you put the split, it’s the same story. Maybe I’ll update the blurb to make this more clear.

The reviewer’s other complaint is the one that really hurt, though. They claim that, about a quarter of the way into the book, some characters start talking about events they shouldn’t know about. If I’m understanding them correctly, I switch from third person limited POV to third person omniscient POV without a clutch. I wouldn’t be surprised, honestly. The problem is, they weren’t very specific in the review, so I don’t know where the error is in the book. It’s like knowing that a dog threw up somewhere in the house, but not being able to find it.

I didn’t use an editor. I wish I could have, but living paycheck-to-paycheck (and still slipping behind), it just wasn’t in the budget. I did use beta readers, but they didn’t come across the problem the reviewer mentions. I wish I could have been able to afford an editor. If the book ever makes any money, I might use some of it to combine books 1 and 2 into one book, and get that version edited. But that’s the paradox, innit? The book’s not going to make money without an editor. And even then, it has to get noticed among all the other thousands of self-published books out there.

A few weeks ago, I had so much creative energy, such big plans for future books to write, ways to market them, and so on. But after the review, it just felt like, what’s the point? I’m obviously a bad writer, no one wants to buy my books, and frankly, I’m not sure I even want them to. Why would I want to subject someone else to my crappy writing?

But I forced myself to get over it. After all, it was just one review, and it’s possible the reader just misread something. I decided to go back to my original philosophy: I don’t care. I’ll still release the next book, and I’ll continue to write on book four for as long as I find it fun to do so. I was almost ready to be happy again… and then I opened my wife’s Discover bill.

Like I said, my wife hasn’t worked since COVID started. She has several health issues that keep her from doing most jobs. And she’s suffering from depression, partly because of how useless her health problems make her feel. She doesn’t qualify for disability, because we can’t even get a definitive diagnosis for what’s wrong with her. So she spends most of her days sitting in her easy chair, watching TV, and playing games on her tablet.

And she’s addicted to gambling. She’s always loved going gambling, when she could afford it. She used to be very responsible about it, budgeting exactly how much she would bring with her, knowing how much she was willing to lose ahead of time. For her, it was like going to a video game arcade. But since her health started to decline, things have changed. If she goes to a casino now, she blows her budget every time. She heads to the ATM, gets out more money, and keeps going. If she has money in her bank account, she’s going to spend it. And she won’t come home until it’s all gone. Sometimes she doesn’t even tell me, she just drives to the next state while I’m at work, so she can gamble all day without my judgement.

And you know what? That would be fine, if that’s all it was. But then she discovered how to gamble on her tablet, using play points, which she buys with credit cards. And it’s not really even “gambling” in the casino sense. She plays puzzle games similar to Candy Crush, or solitaire games, but with gambling aspects to them. The odds are insane – they promise you’ll earn a nickel if you play for an hour, and never deliver. But she prefers to play these games to similar free games. She could buy a decent solitaire app for less than $5, or play one that’s free with ads, but she’d rather spend money hourly on a solitaire game that promises her the chance to win 25 cents.

Back in February, I found that she'd charged $500 to one of my credit cards. It was multiple transactions, ranging from $5 to $25 each. This is a credit card I only keep around for gas, because I don’t like using a debit card at the pumps. I gave her a copy of the card, with the understanding it was for gas only. But she couldn’t resist the temptation to use it for these apps. So we had a long talk, and she promised not to do it again.

Then I got her Discover bill. This is one of the cards we paid off last year, and we’ve only used once since, for some car repairs. She had charged an additional $3,000 to the card. My jaw hit the floor when I saw that. $3,000 worth of $5 - $25 transactions, all to the same place. That’s like buying another car without telling me. And for what? What does she have to show for it? It would be one thing if she was addicted to something we could resell, but this was $3,000 to keep playing a mobile app, an app similar to ones you can play for free.

I love her more than anything, but this can’t keep happening. We’re already struggling for groceries, and now our budget’s going to be that much tighter. And with as much as she’s lied, I don’t know if more surprises are coming. She doesn’t have a job, which means she’s lying to the credit card companies about her income, and every dollar she spends is a dollar I’ll have to pay back someday. If I don’t die of a stroke first, because I’m really, really close right now.

And of course the bills just keep getting higher. Our grocery budget has doubled since the pandemic. My wife smokes the most expensive cigarettes – nothing else will do. Her student loan payments had paused due to the pandemic, but since the forgiveness thing fell through, we’ll have resume paying those soon.

We were so close. I wish we could rewind time, to right after we paid off all those credit cards. Maybe get her to see a psychiatrist for her gambling addiction, before anything bad happens. I don’t know where we’re going to go from here. I might have to get a second job on the weekends. But I’m really going to resent my wife if I’m working 7 days a week, paying off her mistakes, while she has no job.

I could have hired an editor for my book for $500. I didn’t because it takes every extra penny each month to buy groceries. Meanwhile, the person I trust most in this world was throwing thousands of dollars out the window. I can’t concentrate at work right now, because I’m constantly worried she’s found another credit card in the house, or applied for one behind my back, and is charging up more debt.

I’m not her parent. I can’t tell her what to do with her life. I can’t ground her or punish her. Really, I can’t even take her credit cards away; I had to talk her into giving them to me voluntarily. But I’m worried that her apps have the numbers saved. If she wants to ruin her life, that’s her choice, but why does she have to drag me down with her?

She needs to feel like she has a purpose. I've been encouraging her to get into a hobby. She used to be such a good writer, and I know she still has story ideas, but she just doesn't want to sit at a computer anymore. I guess our next step will be to make her an appointment with a therapist. Both for her depression, and for her gambling addiction.

To some extent, I blame myself. Maybe if I'd given her more attention, her life wouldn't have felt so empty. Maybe if I didn't spend my Saturdays writing books and/or playing D&D, I don't know. But I'm usually at work when she's charging up these credit cards, so I don't know how I could have kept her occupied then.

We will get through this. We will. She'll go to therapy, and come out a stronger person on the other side. But I don't know how long it will be before I can trust her again.

I'm not going to ask anyone for money; I did one GoFundMe a few years ago, and even though it was for a real emergency, the whole process made me feel slimy. I never want to publicly beg for money again, especially for something like this.

That said, if you're reading this and want to help, buy my books. They're available at several online retailers. If you read them and like them, leave a review. It takes something like 50 reviews before Amazon's algorithm makes your book show up in searches. You can buy them here or here.

Or, if you just want to buy me a coffee, click here. I don't actually drink coffee, but I'll appreciate the gesture.

Anyway, that's my rant. I might take this post back down in a few days, I just wanted to vent a little. Writing things out makes me feel better.

Feeling Old

Okay, so I’ve had the same job for a while now. I’ve seen my five year mark pass, then ten, then fifteen, then twenty… next year I’ll have been here twenty-five years. And that never made me feel old, just more experienced. My younger coworkers often talk about things that happened "when they were kids." Things that, to me, feel like they only happened a couple of years ago. 

Of course, none of them remember Opryland being a theme park. Some of them don't even remember Opry Mills pre-flood, which is kind of crazy. But a couple of days ago, my coworkers were talking about how long we’d been at this job, and I found out something that felt like a gut punch:

One of my coworkers was born after I started working here. I have been working here for her entire life, and now we're working side-by-side. Somehow, framing it that way makes me feel ancient.

My Second Book Is Out

Quick FYI for those who don't follow my other sites. My second book is now on the Kindle Store:

Bloodhunters v2: Blue Blood