Kitty Communication

For the last two days, our largest cat, Wicket, has been meowing almost non-stop. Not just normal meows, but low, deep wails that sound like all is lost. The food bowl was full. I looked him over, and didn’t see any injuries, he didn’t act like he was tender anywhere I touched him. We considered making a vet appointment, but what would we tell them? That he meows a lot? We’ve had cats that did that anyway. For all we knew, he was just going through a phase. I was still thinking about calling the vet when I figured it out.

The cats have two water sources, one in the kitchen, and one in the upstairs hallway. About a year ago we replaced the downstairs bowl with an electric fountain-style bowl. Then, a couple of days ago, we replaced the upstairs one with a similar device. Apparently, Wicket is afraid of them. He didn’t complain when we replaced the one in the kitchen, because he still had the one upstairs.

Anyway, this morning, Wicket meowed at me the entire time I was in the shower. When I got out, he stood in the hallway, next to the newer fountain bowl, gesturing at the bowl with his nose. This cat would be good at charades. On a hunch, I pulled the old water bowl out and filled it. He lapped up water for the next fifteen minutes. I’m pretty sure the poor idiot had gone two days without drinking any water. He hasn’t complained since.

Just something to keep in mind I guess, if you use fountain bowls.

The cats are pretty good at body language, though. Kara sleeps on my bed every night. In fact, she has different favorite spots that are dependent on which of my usual sleeping positions I’m currently in. If I’m on one side she might curl up behind my knees, in another position she sleeps under my elbow, and so on. Sometimes I have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Kara accompanies me, almost as if she’s making sure I don’t get lost. Once I get back to bed, she curls up and falls asleep with me again.

One night I got up, but Kara was too just comfortable to follow. So she delegated the task to Wicket, who was at the foot of the bed. In the dim light of my alarm clock I saw her look at Wicket, then make a “you’re up” gesture with her chin. On her command, Wicket got up and escorted me to the bathroom and back. It’s the one and only time he’s done that, and I’m 100% positive he did it under Kara’s orders.

Dream: McDonaldism

I dreamed that, in order to prevent the spread of anti-capitalism, McDonald's started sending philosophers to college campuses. They indoctrinated students into something called "McDonaldism." You could tell the converts because they wore bright red and yellow outfits.

An Open Letter To Everyone Who Sends Me Videos

I Hate Videos. 

I mean it, I hate them. When it comes to news, I can read an article a lot faster than I can sit through a video. I hate it when I see a headline online, I click it, and it takes me to a video. Seriously, news outlets: Just write a paragraph or two so I can read what happened, don’t make me turn my sound on and sit through a 10-minute video.

I don't like them, so I don’t watch them. If an article is video-only, I google the headline, and find some other site with the information I need. But that doesn’t stop the “means well” friends from sending me "funny" videos.

My friends have good taste in humor, they really do. If wanted to watch any videos, it would be the ones they send me. But I still growl every time my phone vibrates, because I don’t know whether it’s going to be a funny picture (yay) or an accursed video (ugh).

Reasons I hate videos:

I have to make time to watch them. I like to spend my free time with my wife, or working on my various projects. I have to allocate my time like it was gasoline, and the last thing I want is to have to make a surprise drive to Zimbabwe.

I don’t have a good data plan on my phone, so if I get a video, I have to wait until I get home to watch it. Once I get home, I usually watch TV with my wife, so I have to wait until she leaves the room if I want to watch a video with sound. I know I make her sound like a sleeping ogre, but it’s more like I want to spend that time with her instead of watching separate videos on my laptop. So as much as I hate videos, I hate videos that require the sound on even more.

But what I hate most is Facebook's Reels. Facebook is really inconsistent about how Reels work. Sometimes they won't give me an interface, so I can't see how long the video is, nor do I have the ability to pause it. I thought it was just a matter using my phone vs my laptop, but these options actually seem to vary from Reel to Reel. Some work like videos, others are like really long animated GIFs.

So not only do I have to allot time to watch a Reel, I can't even see how long the video is going to be when it starts. And if I blink and miss something, I can't rewind, I just have to restart the video or wait for it to repeat itself.

You can probably extrapolate the following based on the above, but if you really want me to hate you, send me a Reel that requires the sound on to be funny. Doing so tells me that you don't respect my time or my feelings. At the very least, look up the video on YouTube and send me that link instead.

So the bottom line is, don’t send me videos. If you do send one, make sure it's so pants-crappingly funny that I'll regret not seeing it. The video loses funny points if it requires sound, or if it's a Reel. If you honestly think the video is still funny after losing all those funny points, go ahead and pass it along, I guess. But don't expect me to watch it for several hours, or maybe even not until the weekend.

Look, I appreciate you trying to brighten my day, I really do. But the amount of trouble I have to go through to watch your videos really makes them less funny.

Blood Samples

I've just published my fourth "book," though this one is just a collection of six short stories. It's called Blood Samples, and it's a prequel to my other books. It's also free on most e-retailers (99 cents on Amazon). You can get it here: Amazon  Other Stores

If you like it, please check out my other books here:

Xine Fury's Books

And if you haven't already, make sure you check out my writing blog:

Bloodhunters Blog

This Increasingly Fascist Country

 I opened reddit this morning and saw someone had asked this question:

Background: I’m a stealth, fully passing transgender woman (40) whose documents are completely updated for a few years now. I have two sons who really want to go to Disney World and this year I promised them we’d go together. But with all that is happening in FL, I am terrified.

If someone found out that I’m trans could Florida take my kids away even if I am a resident of Washington State?

Can I use the women’s bathroom if I am post-op and all my documents say female?

I’m very worried that something really awful could happen, but I also don’t want to break my kid’s heart about the trip. What should I do?

Now, to be fair, she probably doesn't have much to worry about. This is the totally normal paranoia all mothers have for their children. Nobody is doing genital checks at the door, and if she's fully passing as she says, nobody is going to look twice at her.

But the part that totally pisses me off is that, thanks to the rise of Conservative fascism, someone feels the need to ask the question at all. We're giving up more and more freedoms every day, and many of us feel unsafe in our own country.

And why? Conservatives constantly tout how America is the best country in the world, and how we're the "Land of the Free" and so on. They look down on every other country, especially the ones with totalitarian governments. So why do they keep looking to those countries as guide for how to rule America?

If you think I'm being melodramatic, you're probably a straight cis white male. You're probably thinking, "Well, I haven't noticed any restricted freedoms." To which I have to ask, are you just totally incapable of stepping into someone else's shoes, even for a second?

As I write this, there are 471 anti-LGBTQ bills currently under consideration in the US. And let's not forget all the abortion restrictions going on. Americans look down on countries that allow religion to control their laws... "unless it's our religion." You might feel safe, because you're on "the winning team." But that attitude will backfire. If you keep letting religion to get its hooks into our laws that way, it's going to be impossible to get it back out. And sooner or later, you'll be a target too.

Do you drink? Some Christians are against it. Got a girlfriend? Some Christians look down on premarital sex. Do you look at porn? Don't get used to it. These are Christian values, folks. And if the right set of justices get on the Supreme Court, they'll look into outlawing all of it. And you won't be able to blame anyone but yourself, since you'll be the sap who voted them in.

That's why you should make the clean break now. Support the separation of church and state. Abolish laws based on religion. Just because you disagree with something, doesn't mean it should be outlawed. If something you hate is outlawed for religious reasons, don't consider that a win. At best, consider it a close call. It could have been one of your rights they axed.