I created several video games for the Commodore 64. Nothing particularly complicated, mostly Defender-style shooters. I didn’t actually know a programming language, I used a program called “Garry Kitchen’s Gamemaker”. Additionally, I bought every game I could find that allowed you to design your own levels. Excitebike. Wrecking Crew. Lode Runner. More recently, Super Mario Maker. I loved level design. But I never got so into it that I learned how to make games from scratch. Learning a computer language would have taken a level of dedication I didn’t possess. I still sometimes think about learning to program, but I just can’t make myself start. I’m afraid of investing money into classes I might not finish.
I drew comic books. On notebook paper, just for my friends to read. I started around third grade, and kept going until I was in my mid-20s. My art did improve during that time – how could it not improve at least a little – but I never took the time to get really good at drawing. I still sometimes get the urge to start a webcomic, but something shiny always distracts me before I go too far in that direction.
I wrote short stories. This was mostly later, after high school. Whenever I created a character for D&D, I would write a short story about them. I wrote a full novel about some space bounty hunters, and several short stories with the same characters. I still go back to them now and then, trying to fix some flaws and remove the worst clichés. I don’t care about whether my stories make any money, it would be nice just to have something out there, perhaps on the Kindle store. But I’m afraid I don’t have the attention span to complete them.
I’ve always been attracted to hybrid hobbies, ones that combine two or more skills without demanding you be an expert in any of them. Drawing comic books took both writing and drawing skills – but less writing than a novelist and less artistic skill than a painter. For a few years I made virtual paper dolls for a program called KISS (“Kisekae Set System”), which required small amounts of art and programming. I even wrote short stories to go along with some of my KISS dolls. I spent over a year designing a persistent world module for NeverWinter Nights – which took small amounts of computer scripting, writing dialogue, and general creative worldbuilding.
I have random weird skills without the secondary skills required to make the primary skills monetizable. For example, I’m very good at proofreading (as long as I didn’t write it). When I read books, spelling errors just jump out at me as if they were written in bold type. Unfortunately, I don’t read fast enough to proofread for a living, and the invention of the spellchecker probably cut down on the number of professional proofreaders out there anyway.
Successful people have passion, usually for something very specific. I don’t have specific passions. I don’t latch onto specific hobbies. I get caught up in odd minor aspects of hobbies that never result in me finishing a project. I’m certain I fit in somewhere in the world. I’m certain there’s a job or hobby out there that would fit me like a glove. Everyone wants to be a rock star or a famous actor, but nobody dreams about being a key grip or lighting director. I’m pretty sure I’m designed to have one of those technical jobs that nobody ever talks about, but the fact that nobody ever talks about it is the reason I haven’t heard of it. Something in the entertainment industry, that requires minor knowledge of two or three fields without needing expertise in any of them. Nothing that would put me on camera, nothing that would make me a household name, and I’m fine with that.
I know there’s a job out there that I could be passionate about, I just don’t know how to find it.
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