The Best A Man Can Get

So I kept hearing about the uproar over Gillette’s new “anti-man propaganda” commercial.  I had to wonder, what did they do?  Did they say all men are rapists?  Toxic masculinity is a tricky issue; not everybody understands what it is, or why it’s just as bad for men as it is for women.  I wasn’t sure a razor company could really do the subject justice, and it might come off as if they are complaining about all men.  Ready to cringe, I watched the video:

…that’s it?  Really?  This is what is causing men everywhere to throw tantrums like cranky two-year olds?  The commercial basically says, “Don’t be a bully, please treat women with respect, and always be the best person you can be.”  It doesn’t say, “You, yes you specifically, are a bully who sexually harasses women.”  Nor does it say, “Only men can be bullies, women are perfect.” 

Apparently in this day and age, the phrase “Don’t be a jerk” is considered part of the Liberal Agenda.  When America elected a bully for president in 2016, I was disappointed but at least there were explanations – a lot of people didn't vote, gerrymandering gives disproportionate power to certain voters, underhanded voter purges kept some people from voting, etc…  basically, the outcome of the election doesn’t necessarily reflect the actual attitude of the average American.

But this does.  As I write this, the YouTube video has a million dislikes, and only about half as many likes.  I browsed the comments, and couldn’t find a single post that sided with Gillette.  This is what bothers me most.  This isn’t die-hard Republicans saying, “I hate Trump but I like his tax proposals better than what the Democrats are offering, so I’ll vote for him and try to ignore his childishness.”  This is people actually saying, “Bullying is fine.  Sexually harassment is fine.  Toxic masculinity is fine.”  I can not put into words how disappointed I am in the people who hate the commercial.

Let me ask you this:  When you watch the Gillette commercial, do you feel personally called out?  If so, why?  Are you a bully/rapist?  If not, then the commercial isn’t really talking about you.  If you still feel called out on some level… maybe you need to explore why you feel that way.  Do you subconsciously feel like maybe you are a bully, and don’t like the commercial for pulling at that particular string?  If so, use this as an opportunity to explore those feelings.  Introspection is good.

Some of the complainers simply said variations of, “A razor company shouldn’t be spouting political opinions.”  And that’s fair, except:

1. “Don’t be a bully or rapist” shouldn’t be a political opinion.  It should be the default.

2. I seriously doubt these people would be complaining if Gillette’s “political opinion” was something they agreed with, or at least something they felt neutral about.  If Gillette’s ad said, “Here at Gillette, we like mustard more than ketchup,” people would probably just say, “huh, that’s a weird ad” and get on with their lives.

The Gillette ad is not attacking masculinity, it is attacking Toxic Masculinity.  This is defined as "the constellation of socially regressive male traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia and wanton violence" (Terry Kupers).  Maybe the commercial doesn't make it clear that it's only attacking one type of masculinity, but it gives plenty of examples of activities that are clearly wrong.  It's not like it's saying, "have a penis, go to jail."

I just don't know what to think any more.  The country has become so polarized the last few years, and while we like to think of it as Republicans/Conservatives vs Democrats/Liberals, more and more it looks like the divide is between bullies and people who actually care about their fellow humans.