Now, there's nothing wrong with having a secret crush on a platonic friend, and being too shy to tell them. But Nice Guys only pretend to be a friend, and only hang around their target to weasel their way into their heart. They feel that they're owed a sexual relationship after putting so much time into being a friend. Or as many people on the internet put it, Nice Guys treat women like vending machines. They believe that if they put in enough Nice tokens, eventually sex will pop out.
Lately I've been thinking about the token theory as it relates to other subjects. For example, Christians. Many Christians seem to believe that all they have to do is pop in a few religion tokens - like going to church, wearing a cross, putting a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper stick on their car - and then they can do whatever they want the rest of the time.
They claim to love Jesus, but they vote against helping the poor. They think they're going to Heaven, but they're prejudiced against foreigners and GLBT people. Christianity is supposed to be a "think of others before yourself" philosophy, but they think that if they just memorize enough Bible verses, they can just forget the part about helping the less fortunate.
Most recently I've been thinking about Patriotism tokens. People seem to think that if they stick enough US flags on their property, that they're true Americans. But they refuse to comply with the basic ideals of our society. There's more to being an American than sticking a "Love it or leave it" sticker on your bumper.
Some tips:
A true American doesn't wave a Confederate flag. That is the flag of a movement that was - by its very definition - anti-American. Arguably, it's treason. I can accept immigrants who still wave the flag of their old country, because it's possible to love two countries. But you can't love the Confederacy and also love America. That's like pledging your soul to both Satan and God. They aren't compatible ideals.
"Oh, but we're overcrowded!" Yeah, funny how whenever Liberals talk about the overpopulation, Conservatives claim you can fit the world's population in Texas. But when Liberals talk about immigration, suddenly the US is packed to the brim.
But of course, what really prompted me to write this blog was the current pandemic. I'm still seeing people who refuse to wear masks unless they're forced to, or wear them badly, or otherwise not taking this COVID-19 seriously. I'm even seeing maskless people make fun of those wearing masks.
That is some next level stupidity right there. I don't care if you're Democrat or Republican, because neither side has declared the crisis to be over. Not even the mango-in-chief has declared the virus gone, he's just shown a general preference for making money over saving lives.
So it's damned if you do, damned if you don't right now. You can wear a mask and lessen the spread of the virus, but Trumpers will make fun of you. That's an easy choice - I'd rather be mocked and live, than die a cool person. Except - the masks don't really protect you, so much as they protect others from you. So going maskless doesn't make you "tough" or whatever, it just means you don't care about other people.
To all the virus deniers out there:
If you refuse to wear a mask in public during this pandemic, you are a wimp.
I don't want to stoop that low with my insults, but it's the only language these idiots understand.
A true American doesn't shy away when America needs help. The government has asked us, for the good of all America, to comply with quarantine rules. This means staying home as much as possible, wearing masks in public, and avoiding crowded places.
And yet Conservatives are putting their own comfort ahead of the needs of their country. They are the citizens who have always considered themselves the most patriotic. They've spent years claiming that they're the only True Americans, and yet when their country actually called upon them to be heroes, they said, "No, we need haircuts." They claim being forced to wear masks is unconstitutional, despite the fact that they've never read the Constitution past the Second Amendment.
You can't just make token gestures. You can't just shout, "America Great!" at the top of your lungs and call yourself patriotic. Sometimes your country will ask something of you. In this case, it's something pretty small: Wear a mask in public, and stay home as much as possible.
Is that really so much to ask? If you're such a pathetic wimp that you can't comply with such a small request, what's going to happen when the country needs something bigger from you? How can you call yourself patriotic when you can't even do the little things?
Want to be a patriot? Then take this as a challenge. Show your American pride by actually doing something for your country. This is the smallest thing the country could ask of you, and if you can't do it, then you're the very thing you've accused others of for years: A traitor.
Stay home as much as you can. Wear a mask in public. Wash your hands. Stay six feet apart. Take the current crisis seriously, whether you believe in it or not. The lives we're trying to save include your own.
