Another Video Game Dream

I had another video game dream last night.  Okay, I dream about video games a lot, but they’re usually either based on real games, or just generic zombie games. 

The game I dreamed about last night was like a cross between Final Fight and Tapper.  The game was probably inspired by the recently released “River City Girls” game, because the main characters were teenage girls in school uniforms.  Like most of my video game dreams, my point of view would switch back and forth, from being a character in the game, to playing the game on a TV with a controller.

In this game, you walk through the streets, getting in fist fights with gang members.  So far, that describes half the games Capcom made in the 90s.  However, you’re also pushing a food cart.  It’s about the size of a hot dog cart, but full of cupcakes.  Your character parks the cart by the sidewalk, and customers start lining up.  You have to serve each customer, occasionally putting cakes in the cart’s little built-in oven.

Meanwhile, gang members walk up and start harassing your customers, so you have to beat them up (the gang members, not the customers).  If you ignore the gang members, they harass and scare off the customers.  But if you spend too much time beating up the gang members, your customers starting leaving because they had to wait too long.  If you forget to put more cakes in the oven now and then, you run out of cakes and more customers leave.  If the oven timer goes off, you only have a certain amount of time to get the cupcakes out of the oven before they burn.

Like any Final Fight style game, once you beat up a certain number of gang members (or in this case maybe sell a certain number of cakes), an arrow flashes “GO” for a few seconds, your character pushes the cart down the street to the next stopping point, and the whole process starts over.  When I played with two players, there was still only one cart, but there were twice as many customers and gang members.  But I think there was also a competitive mode where you each had your own cart.

Some customers would stand at the cart for a few seconds making up their mind.  I don’t remember the exact “serving” controls, but I think it was pretty simple.  Just make sure you’re standing at the counter when a customer is ready to order, and press a button to serve them.  The serving and paying animations took a couple of seconds, so you really had to manage your time between serving, fighting, and baking.

I also vaguely remember a bonus level that involved decorating the cakes, which reminded me a little of Overcooked.

Samus Aran: Transgender?

I debated on whether to put this here or on my Entertainment blog, but I think it goes here.

Samus Aran has been my favorite video game character since her debut in 1986.  For those who don't know what I'm talking about, Metroid is the story of an intergalactic bounty hunter named Samus Aran.  She is sent to infiltrate the planet Zebes, to stop some space pirates from using cosmic jellyfish (metroids) to take over the universe.  Until the end of the game, the player is led to assume that Samus is male (she's even referred to as "he" in the instruction booklet), but at the end of the game she removes her cybernetic armor revealing her feminine form.

My high school art

I wasn't surprised by her end-of-game gender reveal, as that plot twist had already been spoiled by my friends.  But it was one of the first things that made me want to buy the game.  While the original game is primitive by today's standards, I found myself deeply immersed in the game's mythology.  I drew my own Metroid comics in high school.  I programmed Metroid-related spin-off games on the Commodore 64.  I've even considered the name "Samus" as my female name.  I could talk about Metroid for hours, but that's not what I'm blogging about today.  (But here is a Metroid blog I wrote in 2009.)

While Samus and I had nothing in common, really, I identified with her more than any other video game character.  I loved jumping around Zebes in her robotic suit, getting to live another life for a while.  This was years before I knew I was transgender - well, before I knew the word "transgender", anyway.  But I've always had a thing for stories about male characters who turn out to be female (Mulan, for instance).  I wouldn't have been able to put it into words at the time, but on some level I wanted to rip off my outer disguise and reveal a girl underneath.  

So, the other day it became news that Ronda Rousey, a former UFC Champion, wants to play Samus Aran.  The problem?  She's made headlines for putting down transgender people.  Generally I try to be good about separating actor from role, but I have to admit it can be difficult.  The Lethal Weapon movies were a bit harder to enjoy after Mel Gibson's antisemitic rants, and Bill Cosby's old routines are just no longer funny.  Samus is my hero.  I don't want her played by someone I find odious.

Now, I'm not worried about it actually happening.  At least twice a year I see an article about an actor wanting to play a certain role, and I've only seen actually happen once (Deadpool).  Just because an actor wants to play a character, doesn't mean a studio will suddenly throw a movie together.  Plus, while various Metroid projects have been announced in the past, they never even get as far as having a script.  By the time a Metroid movie actually gets going (if ever), Rona Rousey will likely be too old to play her.

But as I read all the articles about Rousey's acting aspirations, I stumbled across some even more interesting.  Apparently some people consider Samus Aran transgender.  How did I miss this?  I've followed Metroid news for most of my life, and I've followed trans news for a good decade.  This is the first time I've seen the two intersect.

It started in 1994, when one of Metroid's designers referred to her as a "Newhalf", which is a Japanese word for transgender.  I've done a little digging, and there seems to be some dispute over whether newhalf is a bigoted slur akin to "shemale", or if it's just another word for transgender and/or transvestite.  In any event, he was probably just making an off-color joke regarding Samus Aran's unusual strength.

But apparently a lot of fans latched onto this bit of trivia, and adopted it as canon.  That's cool.  I'm not a big stickler for canon anyway - let's face it, it's all fiction, none of it "really" happened.  So if a transgender Samus makes you happy, believe that.

A prominent transgender video game character is good for the trans community.  Everybody wants to identify with fictional characters, and there aren't enough fictional transfolk.  At least, not ones presented in a good light.  It's empowering to be represented.

On the other hand, the idea may have started with a transphobic joke.  It's like the designer was saying, "No 'real' woman could be so strong, so she must be part male," which is offensive on several levels (seriously, I made myself sick just typing that).  I'm worried that canonizing it somehow legitimizes the slur.  It's like saying we approve of the designer's bigoted attitude.

If it becomes widely accepted, I could see it hurting sales...  or at least Nintendo might think it will hurt sales, and Nintendo doesn't need another excuse to ignore the Metroid franchise.

Eh... I'm probably just being a worry wart.  The bottom line is that I want what's best for the transgender community. 

But will I personally accept it as canon?  ...I... don't know.

I've said this before, but (IMO) the biggest difference between a gay person and a transperson, is that  a gay person is fine with being gay (assuming a non-bigoted environment).  As long as they live somewhere tolerant, a gay person can be happy with who they are.  They can sleep with whomever they find attractive, without having to say "I wish I wasn't gay".  I could be wrong about that, but I generally assume that if a gay person says "I wish I was straight", they really mean, "I wish I had the acceptance and privileges of straight people."

I can't say that.  Frankly, I don't want to be transgender.  Now I don't presume to speak for all transpeople; maybe some are happy to have had a chance to live on both sides of the coin.  But in my case, I want to be a woman.  Period.  Not a transwoman, not a woman who used to be a man, not a crossdresser or a drag queen or any other type of gender bender.  I simply want what 51% of the population takes for granted, to be a natural born female. 

Life would be so much easier if I was just gay.

So when I look at Samus, and I identify with her, and I wish I could be her... I'm picturing her as a ciswoman.  I don't want to identify with her as a transgender person.  I'm already trans, why would I fantasize about it?  Officially, I firmly believe it doesn't make her any less of a woman.  As far as I'm concerned, trans people are whatever the gender they feel they are, and fictional transfolk are no different.  But on a personal level, if I'm going to imprint on a fictional character, then they're going to represent my perfect ideal self.  And my ideal self is genetically female.

If my refusal to believe Samus is trans is insulting to the trans community, then I apologize wholeheartedly.  If this was about literally any other fictional character, I wouldn't even be in crisis.

I fully support those who want Samus to be transgender.  If Nintendo were to make it officially canon (don't hold your breath), it wouldn't bother me.  Heck, I'd proudly defend Nintendo's decision in countless internet flame wars, repeatedly getting called an SJW by bigoted internet trolls (I'm used to it).

But in my own personal headcanon, she's cis.  To be fair, I don't always accept everything that Nintendo has done with her, either.  Her Zero Suit design has shades of "Outer Space Barbie", I never really liked her "raised by Chozo" backstory in the manga, and don't get me started on Other M.  My point is, I don't always accept or approve of what gets written, but it doesn't offend me.  I'm not going to fight the possibility of of a transgender Samus Aran.  I'm not going to spam message boards arguing against it.  It's a good idea whose time has come, it's just not going to be part of my little fantasy world.

VA Tech Shooting Caused by Talking Alien Raccoons

...at least, somebody probably thinks so. I'd like to tell you that the actual headlines aren't quite as silly (or in as poor taste), but at this point I honestly can't.

The bodies weren't even cold yet, and the media's biggest attention-hounds were already trying to use the tragedy to support their own agenda. Let's take Jack Thompson, for instance. He hates video games so much, that he scans the newspaper every day for atrocities he can blame on them. So when something like the Virginia Tech shooting happens, good ol' JT already has his speech nearly written; he just has to fill in the specific names and dates. The good news is, nobody has to pay attention to anything Thompson says any more, because you can pretty much guess it. A postal worker goes on a shooting spree? Must have been playing GTA. Peeping tom terrorizes neighborhood? Must've learned his voyeuristic habits from playing The Sims. Obesity on the rise? Blame Pac-Man. World Trade Center attacks? The terrorists must've been playing Microsoft Flight Simulator.

Jack Thompson blames the VA Tech shootings on Counterstrike. Dr. Phil also agrees that video games must have been an influence. Neither has any actual evidence to base this on - no games were found in Cho Seung Hui's possession, and his roommate confirmed that he never saw Cho playing them. But why mess up a perfectly good theory with facts? Meanwhile, Reverend Fred Phelps, head of the charming "God Hates America" and "God Hates Fags" websites, is claiming that the tragedy is yet more evidence that America is being punished for its sins (you know, like tolerating homosexuals)... and is using it as an excuse to disrupt the funerals. And Christian news website "One News Now" somehow managed to blame the shootings on the fact that evolution is being taught in public schools.

When people accuse this of being a "blameless society", it usually means that it's the criminals who come up with excuses for what they've done. But now it's not just the perpetrators making the excuses; everyone wants to get in on the act. Now bear with me. Isn't it possible - even remotely - that the shooting had nothing to do with God or video games or evolution or violent movies or karma or astrology or Harry Potter? Isn't it possible that Cho Seung Hui is just an asshole? Can we please let a tragedy go by without trying to blame it on whatever "hot button" is currently vogue? When you come up with ridiculous objects of blame, all you're doing is helping the criminals by giving them new things to try in court.

Now, I'm all for examining Mr. Hui to find out how his brain works. I'll happily allow my tax dollars to go towards researching the psychopathic mind. Anything to keep this kind of thing from happening again. But Jack Thompson, Fred Phelps, and the rest of these loudmouths aren't trying to probe a killer's mind. They're just furthering their own careers, and playing "the blame game" without a shred of real evidence to support their opinions.

Related Articles/Sites:

Reverend Fred Phelps / God Hates America

Thompson Blames Video Games For Virginia Tech Shooting

Dr. Phil Blames Video Games for Virginia Tech Massacre

Creationist: Teaching 'evolution-only' dampens respect for human life

Warrant Reveals No Games In Cho Seung Hui's Posession

What Would Jesus Do For A Klondike Bar?

A friend of mine has informed me that some of my recent posts might be offensive to stupid people. To any stupid people reading this, please accept my heartfelt apology... but you might just want to avoid my blog from now on.

A lot of my rants of late have centered around my own bias against organized religion. This is probably unfair of me. Growing up, I was always ready to defend Christianity. A lot of the other kids thought of me as the "holier-than-thou" type. Even after college, I had a reputation as a teetotaler. I can't really pin down exactly when I changed; some of it was gradual, but there were some obvious spikes in there.

Some of my family would probably blame KJ for "corrupting" me, and I don't doubt that she was a factor. But I honestly think I've been a bigger influence on her than the other way around. Personally, I would give more credit to a friend I met online, who for anonymity's sake I'll call "BH". I could tell early on that this guy was the smartest person that I had ever met, either online or off. BH was the type of person who wouldn't open his mouth unless he had completely researched everything about the subject. I'm not saying he was infallible, but he definitely possessed a powerful combination of education, wisdom, and common sense.

And yet he was an athiest. I didn't once think about trying to convert him. I knew that there was no point I could make that he wouldn't be able to counterpoint. But at the same time, he didn't try to convert me either. BH didn't mind his friends being religious. He did draw the line at absolute Creationists - he felt that those ideas (Earth only being 6000 years old, created in six days, etc) were so silly that only a complete idiot would believe them. Luckily I was never that type of Creationist, and it didn't bother him at all that I considered myself a Christian.

But without even trying, he planted a seed in my mind. It wasn't any particular thing he said, but rather the simple fact that he was so smart and rational, and yet an athiest. For the first time in my life, I realized that it was okay to be an athiest. Well, not "athiest" specifically, so much as I realized it was okay to have your own beliefs. You don't have keep the beliefs you grew up with. You don't have to believe something just because your parents and grandparents believed it.

"Duh", you say. Of course I always knew it was okay to believe what you want. But there's more than one level of knowing something. For instance, I might have felt it was okay for people to have their own beliefs, but I never thought it was okay for me to have my own beliefs.

So I went agnostic. It wasn't a major life change or anything. Generally speaking, my beliefs didn't change much.

Before: I thought all recreational drugs should be illegal.
After: I still think drugs are for the stupid, but it should be legal for people to make their own mistakes.

Before: I felt that abortion was murder and should be illegal.
After: I still think abortion is a very bad thing, but sometimes unwanted pregnancies destroy even more lives.

Before: I felt premarital sex was evil.
After: I still feel that you should limit your sexual partners, and never sleep with anyone you don't think you'd marry. But that's just a "should", not a "you're going to Hell."

Before: I didn't want to push my religion on to others, so when someone offended me, I just got quiet.
After: It's a lot harder to offend me, but I'm still just naturally quiet.

While I was no longer actively worshipping God, I still defended religion. I didn't suddenly decide that all Christians were idiots, nor did I try to tell anyone else what to believe. I still believed that by and large, religion was a good thing, and that some people needed religion in order to keep themselves in check. Some people were naturally good people, while others required the fear of God to keep their natural selfish tendencies from taking over.

I would have defended religion to my dying day, whether I was in it or not. So what changed? When was that "magic moment" when I decided that Christians had gone too far? I don't know, exactly. Well, no doubt my transgenderism played a big part in it. I've now had greater exposure to a segment of the population that is often persecuted by religion. But even when I was religious, I knew that sometimes people went too far "in the name of God", so that opinion hasn't changed much.

So, I'm trying to figure out exactly why I've developed a chip on my shoulder lately. Forgetting my world-issues, I'm specifically trying to list ways religion has hurt me personally. Here's what I've come up with so far:

1. My realizations about my sexual identity. When I was a kid, I thought that the word "gay" meant, "a guy who wishes he was a girl." I had been told time and time again that being gay was wrong. So whenever I had thoughts about wanting to be a girl, I pushed them out of my head. Those thoughts were the work of the Devil, and would send me straight to Hell. If it weren't for religion, I might have figured myself out a lot earlier in life. Granted, if society as a whole had understood as much then as it almost does now, then I might have been better off. Gender Dysphoria is completely different from homosexuality; it's more like a birth defect. And as such, it's slightly more likely to be acceptable to homophobic Christians. But I was just a kid then, at a time when even adults were confused about the subject.

2. Dungeons & Dragons. In the past few years I've developed a love for role-playing games. I would have liked to have played them with my friends as a child. There's one childhood friend in particular who probably would have loved to play D&D... except his parents wouldn't allow it. D&D was the subject of a lot of several urban legends, and my friend's family firmly believed them. There was that one where the kid played D&D then jumped out a window, which was just an evolved version of the story where the kid puts on a Superman cape and tries to fly. Not to mention a precursor to the one where the kid watches Harry Potter and jumps out a window holding a broomstick (*). If kids were really as stupid as the ones in these legends, nobody would reach adulthood.

(* Before anyone tries to correct me on the Harry Potter thing, yes, I do know there really was a child who got hurt playing with a broomstick. But that child was much younger than the kids typically are in the legends, and she fell off the kitchen counter (the legends have them jumping off of rooves or out of windows), and I'm not convinced she actually thought the broomstick would make her fly. But in addition to that true story, an urban legend also circulated that was much more similar to the D&D/Superman legends. )

But forgetting the legends for a minute, D&D was considered evil for other reasons too. Magic, demons, and other anti-Christian themes. But seriously, it's based on mythology, not religion. You might fight made-up evil gods, but you never fight Satan. And even if you did, I'm not sure how that would make it anti-Christian, since the players are (usually) fighting on the side of good. Is there something in the Bible about not making up stories? Because that's all the game is - a group of creative friends sitting around a table, making up a story. If that's wrong, then so is the entire fiction section of your local bookstore.

3. Censoring myself to my wishy-washy friends. The only thing worse than a friend who has just discovered Jesus, is one who goes through cycles of piety and hedonism. A few years ago, I received a phone call from a long-lost friend. We talked for about 10 minutes before I realized he was currently in Saint mode. Once I knew, I thought back to the things I'd been saying over the past few minutes, and counted how many times I'd probably offended him. But, I swear this guy switched back and forth every week. And while I am loathe to censor myself, I do try to be sensitive to others when I'm speaking. It would be nice if people came with ratings labels. You'd look at a person, see he's wearing a "PG-13" T-shirt, and you'd adjust your conversational topics accordingly. Wait, no, actually it would be nice if people just weren't so easily offended. But I've already done that rant.

5. Censorship in general. I don't mind keeping adult materials away from kids, but I hate it when they outright ban something because someone thought it was offensive. Off the top of my head, I can't think of too many ways this has affected me personally. Removing the blood from the SNES version of Mortal Kombat kind of pissed me off at the time. I vaguely remember hearing about an irreverent animated sitcom I wanted to see, which got cancelled because of a letter-writing campaign from a small church group in Ohio or somewhere. There was a time in Kentucky when KJ and I weren't allowed to receive the "Adam & Eve" mail-order catalog because it violated some local law.

I could probably list a lot more examples of how censorship almost affected me, like when Married With Children nearly got taken off the air, but in most cases smarter heads have prevailed.

6. The assumptions of others. When you live in the Bible Belt, people don't ask, "Do you go to church?", they ask "What church do you go to?" ...which leads to a lot of awkward silences. And every office has that one employee who forwards every sappy religious e-mail they receive, assuming that all the recipients will be overjoyed to have their inbox clogged up with these made-up stories of miracles (punctuated by animated gifs of wide-eyed puppies). Then there's the people who mix politics and religion. Terrorists commit horrible acts in the name of their gods, while our country's Christians shake their heads and say, "poor misguided fools"... completely failing to make the connection.

That's really about all I can come up with right now, but I think it's enough to explain my grudges. Now I have to ask myself a lot of questions.

Do my own experiences justify my bias against religion?
Do the global issues I've studied justify my prejudices?
When I pick on Christians for being bigots, am I being just as bigoted as the people I condemn?

The truth is, I probably have gone too far. Ranting is a great way to work out my frustrations, but it does sound like I'm judging all religious people by the actions of a few. And deep down, I don't really feel that way. I stand by everything I've said, but - Keep in mind, when I rant on Christians and other religious people, I really don't mean "all Christians" or "everyone who believes in a god". If I felt that way, I would consider myself an athiest, not agnostic. I'm specifically talking about that subgroup of believers who commit the sins I've listed.

So before anyone sends me hate mail, just remember - Right now you're probably one of those Christians I support (or at least tolerate). But by complaining, you're being easily offended and trying to censor me. And if you do that, you're placing yourself into the very categories I've been insulting. Sure, it's a catch-22, but that's my bottom line.