Happy Halloween.

As of October 18th, it's been six months. The past couple of weeks I've been more despondent than usual, and it took me until today to realize why. You know how some people get extra depressed around the holidays? Well, Halloween was our Christmas.

It was our favorite time of year. Sometimes we'd give out candy, other times we'd just turn out the lights and watch scary movies all night. Several times we spent weeks putting together matching costumes on a dollar store budget.

So today is rock bottom for me. The good news is, once I make it through my first Halloween without her, things can only go up from here.

My status hasn't changed much. I'm currently unemployed, and I get very little human contact. Sometimes I'm productive, but sometimes I waste the entire day sitting on the couch, watching YouTube. Often times I don't even have the emotional energy to do something fun.

Seriously. I can't even be bothered to do something I want to do. I'll be watching YouTube and think, "I'd really like to play a video game right now." But I always talk myself out of it. Part of it is I feel guilty playing games while I should be job hunting. Part of it is knowing that the game won't be as fun as it used to be, back when I was happier overall.

But most of it is simply spoon theory. A lot of people don't realize that it takes just as much emotional energy to do fun things as it takes to do work. Especially when you're suffering from depression.

Positive things. Today I watched the movie "Weapons," and it was very good. This Sunday I have a gaming session, which I'm looking forward to. I've been working with a guy at a job placement service, so I might find employment pretty soon. And even if I don't, I still have enough money in the bank to cover me for a while.

So overall, I'm going to be okay. I've been in a bit of slump for the past couple of weeks, but I think things are going to improve soon.