Cruel But Wonderful Dreams

It's been a year and four months since my wife passed away. In the past couple of months, I've been having more and more dreams about her. These dreams are way more vivid than my usual dreams. When I talk to her in my dreams, she feels way more real than other people I dream about. The average characters in my dreams are practically cartoon characters compared to when I dream about KJ.

I had a wonderful dream last night. KJ showed up at my door. I asked her how she could be there, and she said, "Tell ya later, let's go out." It was a very long dream. I don't remember what all we did, but we talked a lot and went to some of our favorite places.

The main thing is, it just felt so real. Every word she said sounded like something she'd say, not something my mind would have written for her. I don't believe in the supernatural, but it's hard not to imagine she was trying to contact me from the other side.

I do a lot of lucid dreaming, or at least semi-lucid. Near the end of the dream, I realized I was starting to wake up. I told her I had to go away for a minute, and asked her to please be here when I got back. She promised she would stay, then I woke up to a world without her.

I felt shaky all morning. It was a beautiful dream, but the aftermath was devastating. I nearly cried at work several times. It was a hectic day at work, which actually helped a little, because it gave me something else to concentrate on.

But seriously, brain, why do you have to be so cruel?