Friday, October 5, 2018

ROGD vs Clues

Today I learned a new term: "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria".  It appears this is mostly used by anti-trans people who are floored when someone comes out, because they never noticed any signs.  They're worried that their loved one was brainwashed by all the transgender media coverage lately, and is deciding to transition too quickly.

Look, I can't comment on every case of egg cracking. I'm sure there are a few transitioning people out there who aren't actually transgender, but rather having some other sort of identity crisis.  They may be grasping at the trans explanation because it seems simpler. 

But for most of us, we've had clues all our lives.  We just got teased for our femininity/masculinity at an early age, and learned to hide these traits from our peers.  Learning how to shove these traits in the closet becomes a means of survival.  Eventually you do it automatically.

Personally, when I started coming out to friends, I was amazed at how many of them were surprised.  I can't believe they didn't see any clues.  They knew I always picked female characters in video games, they remembered I pretended to be female characters when we played GI Joe as kids.  When I got engaged, I told several people: "We're perfect together, she has all the masculine qualities I lack, and I have all the feminine qualities she lacks."  Still didn't spark any suspicions.

Then again, they obviously didn't spark enough suspicions in me, either, since I didn't fully realize I was transgender until about 2005, a good 10 years after I got married.  I guess there's a tendency to take what people look like at face value, even when it's yourself.

Anyway, all I'm really saying is that what seems like "rapid" to one person isn't rapid to the trans person.  It's far more likely that there's a lifetime of clues that people handwaved away.  Parents in particular seem to be prone to denial, because they have an idealized image of who their children are.

Believe your trans friends.  Believe your trans children.  Just believe trans people.  Your skepticism is damaging in ways you will never know.


No comments: