Counterpoint to this blog.
Reasons I will not transition (in no particular order):
1. I love my wife. Even if I don't show it as often as I should, she is the world to me. She has stated that if I were to transition, she would be supportive, but she would not stay with me. Losing her would be like losing a limb.
2. I started too late. To be fair, I know people way older than me who transitioned. But they're not me. I find it unbearable that I didn't transition when I could have been young and cute. Even if I started tomorrow, I would be in my 50s before I was really able to be seen as a woman.
3. I am poor. Yes, most trans people are. But with my debt and the way I live paycheck to paycheck, transitioning would throw me straight into bankruptcy. I would probably lose my job as well, and I'm not qualified for much else. The decision to transition could leave me homeless.
4. I am not 100% convinced I would find it fulfilling. It's such a huge gamble. What if I did everything, and still wasn't happy?
5. I don't pass. With my frame, I don't think I would ever fool anybody. Yes, I know the point isn't to convince others, it's to be comfortable with myself.
But I don't think I could bear the whispers behind my back, being
constantly misgendered, and so on.
6. Bathrooms. While the politicians keep tossing the law ball back and forth, I am absolutely terrified at the prospect of using a public restroom while dressed en femme. I absolutely can't go into the men's while wearing a dress, I'll get killed. I'm afraid to go into the women's if I don't pass, I might scare them.
Hmm, this list is a lot shorter than the previous blog. But the reasons themselves are quite weighty, and hard to get past. The only circumstances in which I can see myself transitioning is if I were to win several million dollars. Enough money that I don't have to leave the house until I'm fully transitioned. And even then... I just don't know if I would be brave enough.
2 comments:
Are you really considered "poor"? Why do you suppose most trans people are?
Technically I'm not poor. I get all my bills paid each month, I just don't have any money left afterwards. I still manage to eat out maybe one or twice a month. And I'd have more money left each month if I could get ahead long enough to pay off some debts, so technically a lot of my financial problems are my own fault.
But regarding other trans people - yes, a lot of them are poor, at least the ones I've interacted with. They often get cut off from their families, having to put themselves through school while also paying for hormones. Some lose their jobs if they choose to transition, and have trouble finding employment.
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