Reasons I know I'm transgender (in no particular order):
1. I strongly wish I had been born female. When I get in a really dysphoric mood, it's literally all I can think about. It is my one wish above all others.
2. When I was a child, and we would play Star Wars or GI Joe or whatever, I would play female characters as often as possible. I wasn't even sure at the time why it was so important to me, but I would go out of my way to make sure I could play women, whether we were using action figures or actually running around the backyard.
3. I've always picked female characters in video games when possible. I am about 90% more likely to buy a video game if I can play a female character. I play games to escape and live another life for a while, and I'm just not interested if the only characters are males. It's not just "so I can look at a female bum."
4. I prefer books/movies/shows/etc with female leads. I want to identify with the character in order to care what happens to them, and it's harder for me to relate to males. I know that sounds sexist, like I don't care if men live or die, but we are talking about fictional characters here.
5. When I look in the mirror, I don't relate with the person I see. The man in the mirror is perfectly attractive and I don't hate him. But it just doesn't feel like I'm looking at me. I feel like there should be a woman looking back at me.
6. I like wearing female clothing. If it were just a matter of thinking skirts are comfortable, I would try kilts. But no, I am actually happier in female clothing.
7. I only play female characters in D&D. In fact, it's the main reason I play- to live vicariously through these female characters. If I go too long without playing D&D, I start to feel more dysphoric.
8. When I fantasize about a perfect dream life, I'm always female. I don't care about being rich or thin if I can't also be female. I fall asleep at night picturing myself in other lives. I have a ton of different fantasy lives in my head, but I'm a woman in all of them.
9. I have an easier time making friends with women than men. With men I feel like an imposter, like I'm putting on a mask and trying to fit in. But with women I feel like I can just be myself. To be fair, I do currently have more male friends than female, but that's an accident of fate.
10. I don't have stereotypical male interests. Specifically, I hate cars and sports. Yes, I know that describes a lot of men. And to be fair, I don't have a lot of stereotypical female interests either. But I still believe it belongs on this list.
11. I am a feminist, bordering on misandrist. I believe in women's rights, as everyone should. But I also find myself having to suppress an innate prejudice against men in general. I'm definitely not an expert on feminism, and I try to just keep my mouth shut so I'm not accused of "white knighting" or whatever. But I do have a natural instinct to side with women even before I know all the details.
12. When I use chat rooms online, or play online games, I am strongly inclined to present myself as a woman. It's not enough to play a female character, I need the other players to think the player is female as well. Otherwise I just feel wrong.
13: I concluded that I was transgender by myself. I didn't actually know the word at the time, but I knew what was wrong with me. Some people tell me I'm too suggestible, and they believe that I must have come across a transgender website and latched onto it like a hypochondriac surfing WebMD. But I sought this information out myself because I wanted answers. I knew what I was like, and I knew what I was looking for.
14: I believe that women have tougher lives than men, and yet that doesn't sway me. If a gender neutral being were allowed to pick a sex, male would be the obvious choice. Stronger, more political power, more respected, higher pay, etc... It's a no-brainer. But this isn't a choice. This is who I am. This is how I'm wired.
15: Trans life is a tough life, but I want it anyway. Actually that's not true - I don't want a trans life, I want a ciswoman life. But lacking any magic lamps, a trans life is a better option than a male life. It's a life full of bigotry, loss of family and friends and employment, etc... but still preferable to pretending to be male all the time.
16. It goes against some of my own beliefs, and yet I still feel this way. Sometimes I'm not sure I believe the concept of gender, or that men and women are mentally different, and yet I still feel like I have the mind of a woman. I don't believe in destiny or a higher power, and yet I still feel like I was "supposed" to be a woman, as if some deity got my sex wrong. It's a paradox, but ultimately my dysphoria is stronger than my logical beliefs about genders.
17. Everything about transitioning scares the everloving crap out of me, and yet I feel I'm supposed to be doing it anyway. From finding a new job to deciding which bathroom to use, just about every aspect paralyzes me with fear. Which is probably why I haven't been transitioning. But I strongly believe it would be better for me.
18. When I dream at night, I'm often female. Okay, in most of my dreams my gender isn't really a factor, since I'm seeing through my own eyes. But when gender matters, I'm often a woman. Again, it doesn't prove anything, but it shows how much I subconsciously think of myself as a woman.
19. When I create characters for stories I write, my first inclination is always to make female. In my mind, the default is female, and I have to force myself to make some characters male just for realism and variety.
20. When I design a character, whether for a story or a D&D game or whatever, I spend a lot more time on the female characters than the males. The women have detailed backstories and I agonize over their outfits and equipment, while the men are more one-dimensional and hastily created.
21. I have a lot of feminine mannerisms. The way I stand, lean, sit, gesture, etc. If I was more extroverted, I'd probably get called metrosexual a lot. But since most of my conversations occur online, that's not an issue.
22. I find the shape of my body annoying. I'm clumsy, I feel like I'm too tall, and frankly I feel like my guy parts shouldn't be there. I'm uncomfortable talking about my genitals in a public blog, but basically it feels like having a giant mole in an uncomfortable place.
23. The sheer longevity of of my gender issues. Some people say it's just a phase, but I've felt this way my entire life. Sure I didn't always know the word "transgender", but I've always identified more with women. I had my real epiphany sometime around 2006, and there hasn't been a moment since that I doubted I was transgender. There may have been times I tried to talk myself out of it, or looked for alternative explanations, but I always knew what I was. If it lasts my entire life, is it still a phase?
24. I've been to two psychiatrists and two psychologists about my gender issues. I visited them regularly for about two years. None of them had any trouble believing I was transgender.
Wow, that's actually more points than I thought would occur to me when I started writing this. Every time I think I'm done with this list, I think of another one. Even once I post this blog, I might have to edit it again if I think of any more good ones. I know a couple of them are redundant, but it's still a lot of reasons.
When each point above is criticized individually, I agree with the detractors. No single point proves I'm transgender. Everything I've listed can be explained or excused or handwaved, without resorting to gender dysphoria. The things I did as a kid? Kids do all kinds of crazy things. The preference for female characters? Maybe I like lusting after them. Dreaming I'm a woman? Dreams are pretty random. Liking skirts? They're comfortable. The general feeling I should be a woman? Maybe I'm just having a broader identity crisis.
But when all these points are put together, they add up to something. If you don't think so, you're being willfully stubborn.
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